Reflect

It was supposed to be a happy meetup with GM but turns out the other way round.

I am a person who hates it when I am meeting up with someone, I showed a happy face to him/her, but the other party doesn't reciprocate.
It makes me feels like shit.
For that, I had an argument with her which spoils our mood for almost the whole meet up.
I thought my anger management was good but I don't know why today, I flared up at her.
Actually it was not the first time she did that but today I was super pissed off that I scolded her using the f word.
It was the first time that I angrily scold her using the f word even though I do use it jokingly before.
By the way, I was tearing when scolding her., like mix emotion wtf.
I guess she was very hurt by me that she walked away saying "think before what you said".
I was so determined that what I said was right that I messaged her and continue to scold her.
Sounds like I am a bad friend. Sigh~

Anyway, after that we were alright, still continue as per our plan but both of our mood were not like very happy anymore.
Luckily, this issue doesn't affect our friendship.

Seriously one cannot step on my tail, if not I will really give them shit.
I had times when I do speak without thinking the consequence as well.
So don't see me like one good person but when I got really pissed off, you won't know the reason why you die.
And that is my weakness, because I dislike to speak my mind because truth doesn't sound nice.
It seems a difficult thing for me to do.
It's only when I was asked, then I will say it.
And when I say it, I will cry..
I know this sound silly but I guess its my character problem. :(
Maybe she's my closest of all, that's why my words can be very sharp without thinking the consequences that it might hurt her feeling.
For this, I need to reflect on my character.