A Different Year - 2021

The past few days, it wasn't raining so heavily like today. 

Seems like the last day of the year, it is always raining. 

Anyway, its the time of the year to summarize the year! 

This whole 2021 is all about motherhood, being a first time mum and learning to be a mum.

One thing that I still cannot get used is to wake up as early as 6am+ 7am in the morning.

Even when I goes to office, I don't even wake up this early. Omg~

Breastfeeding journey was hard and I was able to commit for 11 months.

If I didn't went for vaccination, I am not sure when I would stop. Haha..

Looking at the monthly photos that I took of Skyler, seems like he looks different day by day.

If there's no photo to capture that moment, I won't even feel he look different.

Sometimes I do miss the time before having kid but now I guess this is a different joy of life.
I am also happy that my 2 friends have joined the motherhood club this year!

Next year, one friend will join the club too. :)

Few days ago, I thought I was pregnant again.

However, I suddenly bleed heavily so I went for checkup.

The report came back and Gynae told it was a biochemical pregnancy.

After googling, then I understand what that was.

G and I was open-minded as in, if have then have, if not then its also okay. Haha..

I kinda felt relief though because having Skyler has already tire me out. 

Popping another one will be a headache.

That whole week when I thought I was pregnant, G wont let me carry Skyler at all.. 

And he was also busy helping taking care of Skyler because I cannot carry.. Haha..

Hopes for Year 2022.

I hope the pandemic will subside soon.

I want to travel and I dislike wear mask when I am out.

Hope for the better. :)

Happy Birthday Skyler!

Seems like just a few days ago, I gave birth to my little boy.
In an blink of an eye, he turned one year old on 20 Dec 2021!

Looking back, after I gave birth, during my maternity leave period, I seems to be living day by day.

It was rather tormenting because of sleepless night, a very tiring period.

After my maternity ends and I started work, the days seems more relaxed and I seems to be living week by week.

Because most of the weekdays baby was with mother in law.

Then the schedule change to baby come back to stay overnight a day or two.

Month by month, he grow and become easier to take care.

But also have difficulty taking care too as he become more mobile.

After becoming a mother, a mother will always be so worried about every single thing on her child.

But I am happy that he is growing well.

Happy Birthday Skyler.

Mummy loves you always!

Breastfeeding Journey

From the start, breastfeeding was not easy but then slowly it got easier.

Sometimes we just need to get use to thing and it will become easier as time goes by.

Remember back then when I was like first or second month postpartum, I kept wanting to stop breastfeeding because I was living a 3hr life.

Then G asked me to set a 6month breastfeeding target.

I think even before the 6th month, I think I got used and stopped complaining about it.

Just that when I need to go out to meet friend or date with G, it will be troublesome as I need to pump every 3-4hour. That was the only hassle.

Fast forward till now, 10month plus postpartum, I am still pumping but dropped to 2 pumps a day.

I stopped direct latching baby on 28 October because I went for my first vaccination.

Didn't want to introduce the antibodies to baby yet, so I am just pumping and keep as stash.

Had been giving him formula and EBM stash that I previously kept. 

Probably can last him till 1 year old or less.

It's fine for me be it breast milk or formula, he has the nutrients and I am more than happy already.

I was previously afraid the middle of the night feeds via bottle will make him not fall asleep after drinking milk because he was latched to sleep when he woke up for milk.

Normally, I will unlatch about 10mins after he drank and fell asleep before 28 October.

However, we have been trying for days now and is happy that he can fall asleep after putting him down.

I can tell that baby just want to wake up to drink milk and luckily he is not attached to boobs.

Guess my previous worries are useless..

I am just worried that if he goes to my mum's place for nap, he will have difficulty sleeping because no spring cot and he would need to be latched to sleep. 

I'll probably just have to babywear him to sleep.

Back to pumping topic, dropping pump to 2 times a day can clearly see the distinct dropped in supply.

The first day when I moved from 3 to 2 times, I could pumped 200ml. 

But the next day, it become 160ml to 170ml.

Now its just 110ml to 120ml within the first week.

I feel pretty sad with the dipped supply but I should see open because  soon I will move to 1 pump a day then says goodbye to breastfeeding in about a month time. 

So I am just pumping whatever I have now.

Words just can't really describe this love-hate relationship with breastfeeding.

I am happy I can supply food to my boy up till now.

Also, really thankful that breastfeeding helps a bit with my weight loss.

So after stop breastfeeding, I gonna control food intake already! Haha..

Week 8 Baby

Skyler is 8 week old today! Which means I'm halfway through my Maternity leave. Anyway I extended a few more days so I'll be back to work in May. 

So for the past 4 weeks (after his 1st mth), there has been lots of ups and downs for me. This boy's emotions and habits seems like ever changing. I know there are more to come...

Motherhood is really not easy. Sometimes when I couldn't handle him, I would ask myself why do I land myself into this situation? I will also ask myself what did I do wrong that leads to current situation.

Small problem like he doesn't want to nap, would make me feel very frustrated because he will become very cranky and fussy.

Tried many sorts of way to make him nap. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.

Previously I strongly objected to use spring cot but now I am thinking that if this way works for him to at least take naps, then why not?

I don't want to make myself even more stressful and unhappy just to make him nap so I decided to compromise.

As long as he is not cranky and fussy which may lead to future bad temper(?), then I guess I just have to do ways that make him happy and also make myself happy.

Well, all mums just want to do things that are best for their babies right?

I am really thankful that G is really a hands on dad.

He has his magic hand that can make my boy to sleep most of the time.

So I dread the days when he has to go office to work.

Not only helping to take care of baby, he also helped out with housework when I am taking care of the baby. 

How not to love this man? :)